Alison's Insights

Making Sense of Addiction Recovery in Midlife One Slow Deep Breath at a Time

Who Needs The Message?

This morning I read a passage from a book that I absolutely love.  The message talks about how we need to be careful when taking care of our own needs by indirectly projecting them on someone else, and then acting as if we are taking care of that person.  The example used was, instead of saying you want to leave somewhere, you ask the person you’re with it they want to leave.  The passage goes on to say, projecting our own needs onto someone else is a way of hiding vulnerability by appearing as a kind and “other-centered” person.

OK, here’s what happens when I read something and it hits home … I want to share it with someone.  I immediately think of who might benefit from receiving such a message.  If I do forward it, I tend not to share that it hit me and WHY, I usually say I thought they might relate in some way.  By doing this, I believe I’m enhancing someone else’s recovery journey when in truth, I need to embrace that message in order to enhance my own.

Just because I might have a few sober days under my belt doesn’t mean I’ve “got it.”  If I’m not careful and diligent in my own recovery, I’m just as vulnerable to addictive thoughts/behaviors as the next person.

In the rooms of recovery it is often said, “If you think you’ve got it you don’t.”

It is also said, “If you spot it, you got it.”

Guess that’s what happened to me today.

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